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Can I ask you some personal questions?”“Of course, you can. You know you can ask me anything.”“Did you have a boyfriend in high school?”Still wiping tears from her eyes, she answered, “No, you know I skipped three grades, so they all made fun of me because I was so much younger and always got A’s.”“How about in college?”“No, I was too busy with my heavy course load, and I was only fifteen when I went to MIT.”“When was the last time you had sex?”“You know, last...”“Not counting last night.”“Three years ago at the Mensa convention.” She replied.“And before that?”“Six years ago.”“And before that?”“When your father got me pregnant.”My mother’s total sexual experience consisted of four one-night stands in nineteen years.“I know the problem, Mom, you may have an academic knowledge of sex, but you have not had any practical experience with someone willing to court you, not just ... you know...”“Just fuck me?”I had to suppress a laugh. I did not think my mother even knew that word. Never. " I can tell Maria sure as hell doesn't appreciate my joke when she...I'm tired of my Princess Boss giving me shit about the hole in her side - even more tired of stitching it up myself. So after she insults me again, I smack her ass (which still has cactus needles in it) causing Jens to about jump off the gurney, holler like crazy and complain, "Maria what in the hell did you spank my ass for?"I laugh and explain, "Well, if you don't want your side fixed, then how about these cactus needles? You sure as hell don't want to leave any of them in your ass to get infected."Jens continues to complain, "Hell, just slap some duct tape on my rear then it will pull all of them out at once instead of the slow fricken torture you were putting me through."I mime an evil laugh and answer, "What fun would that be..."Present – Stacy – Going after BenI can't fucking believe it, that stupid bear has really caused problems for me yet again. I ordered him to get into the truck but I guess he thought he.
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